God calls.....

Many people may not know this but I was known in school as the "person with the best humor". And over the years of my christian life, I'd dare to say God might possibly agree. There's quite a few reasons why, but let's start with my "callings".
  My first calling (pay close attention, because this was the BEST calling) was to surrender my life to Jesus Christ, follow Him, and never be the same again. To make an EXTREMELY long story short, I was a wild girl, with an overwhelming amount of shame, hopelessness, hurt, confusion, and anger all bottled up and expressing itself in violence, drugs/alcohol and promiscuity. It was ugly, but God in His amazing grace and loving mercy, called me to Him before I could damage myself any further. I received His forgiveness and have not been the same since. I consider myself an open book so if you every want to know more of my life, please just ask. I don't feel God saved me from such things to keep it to myself. :) God is so good.
  So that was my first calling, my next one was pretty darn hilarious. Let's make another long story short, shall we?
John Christian Atkinson attended the church I started attending and although we were around the same age, we actually did not like each other, at least not right away. I thought he was a judgmental snob and he thought I was an immature hooligan (and rightfully so). And even as we got to know each other, we were "friends" but we still held to our judgements of each other. So one night during a prayer time at church, I heard something spiritual, meaning I didn't hear it with my ears, but I heard it with my heart and inner spirit. God told me I was going to marry that judgmental snob of a man John C. Atkinson (He wasn't really that bad, much love to ya babe!). The following conversation ensued (with slight exaggeration for humor purposes): Me: "Um...Lord...I know I said I'd obey you and trust my life in your hands, but you must be mistaken." God: "Nope, you're going to marry him." Me: "No, really God, you've got the wrong girl. Try the next pew, that girl grew up in church and has the same values and such, nothing like me. Plus she might actually LIKE him. Seeing as I can hardly stand the kid, I don't think it's going to work." God: "I made you for him, trust Me." Me: (Looking up to see if God was serious and seeing John walking right past me).........................................................................................ok...............................................
..........................fine."
About a year later or less we started dating. Two years later we got engaged. Four months later we got married. Ten years ( and two kids ) later we're celebrating our 10th anniversary. We were the unlikely couple, and while that calling is laughable now, it's been proven that yet again, God is so good.

   This next calling was a special one, which I never quite figured out why until recently. I was a teenager and sitting in my room reading my Bible at my desk, when God just spoke again and said "You're going to be in ministry and specifically going to be a Pastor's wife." Again, I was very hesitant. I kept thinking how in the world could I ever marry a Pastor?! I barely know how to be a christian, much less be in any kind of ministry and be the wife of a Pastor. But again, I accepted and received it and told John about it later after we had been dating a while. He said, "Well, I was called to be a Pastor." Hmmmm....
I always would wonder, why does God have to CALL me to be a Pastor's wife. My husband is going to be a Pastor so, duh, I'm going to be a Pastor's wife! But recently I have finally felt I'm actually fulfilling that calling. One because John became a senior Pastor a couple of years ago, and two because I've experienced things I thought I'd never experience while being in this position. Both good and not so good.

Well, it's no secret, that people probably never thought I would or could ever be a Pastor's wife. I didn't even think it would really happen. I felt very ill-equipped, unworthy, and just plain not good enough. But I read and reread the story of Moses and how beautifully God provided everything he needed to do what God had called him to do. I like the scripture, "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped... " Psalm 28:7.  I knew He would help me like no one else could. And He has, beautifully.

   Maybe one day I won't be so surprised at the miracles God continues to do in my life. But I'm not even sure it's surprise anymore. I guess initially it is, but truly I think it's overwhelming gratefulness. This August I'll have been best friends with my God for 14 years and I don't ever want to get to a point where I'm not grateful for everyday I get to wake up and pursue the precious callings He has given me. I know I say it a lot, but it's worth saying 70 times a day.

God is so good.

Let's see how long this last...

So I love to write. In school I was the goofball that loved essays and loved reading them out loud even more. I do have a journal, you know, the old fashion kind, where you use a pen and actually write. But I don't know about you, but I am terribly inconsistant with how often I write in it. It's probably 3 times a year I actually put down some thoughts. So I guess I'm upgrading now to blogging :) So like my title says, "let's see how long this last..." :)

I'm a Pastor's wife, which is not to be mistaken for just a wife. Not demeaning wives in general (they're awesome), but I have learned there is a difference. I never fully understood the difference until the past year or so.
My first encounter with a Pastor's wife was many, many years ago. And to be frank, the first impression I got from her was yuck! My mom, her boyfriend, and all the stepkids and I attended this church (I won't be cruel and name names). We were a mixture of shy & unruly kiddos and our manners were...um...let's just say, lacking. And I vividly remember the Pastor's wife looking at me with disgust and embarrassing me by asking me questions about the Bible, knowing I had NO earthly idea who even NOAH was (GASP!) infront of the whole Sunday school class. To top it off her daughter was my age and was very standoff-ish and rude to me, especially at school! It wasn't a great experience and I'm glad I didn't let them turn me off completely to God.
So then years later, I attended another church with some friends from my subdivision. I got to meet this Pastor's wife, and I was pleasantly surprised. She was older, but so kind. Always hugging me even when I didn't want hugs and genuinely seemed to care about me. She was great.  So that was the beginning of my "views" of Pastor's wives. I have many many more perspectives of all the different Pastor's wives that I've known. And I will eventually get to them all, but for now I want to end this blog with saying this: I don't judge any Pastor's wife, whether rude, cold, or warm and loving. Because I and especially you have no idea what has and is going on in that woman's life. A Pastor's wife could best describe her life as, "her life in a fishbowl". At every angle every one can see, and they are looking. I'm not judging those that "look", I was and still am (by nature) a "looker". It's so easy to watch your Pastor's wife so closely, and wonder what happens behind closed doors. But this is partly why I started wanting to blog. I'd like to share some "Pastor's wife" secrets with you and maybe help you understand her life and grow to love her in a deeper manner.

So let the fun begin!